And Once More Saw The Stars Read online

  To the eternal shades in heat and frost.

  She was blinded and deafened by darkness. She threw out her arms, groping for Lilith, but all she felt was thick, choking heat. Eventually, her hearing began to return, but when it did, she wished it hadn’t. Screams and moans of agony tore at her head. They were in every language and no language at all, but the misery in them was so plain and naked that she could feel festering in her own heart.

  Her sight returned next. She made out figures in the dim red glow, twisted and running in a tight mob. They were surrounded by a constant, buzzing cloud, and the sound throbbed in her ears. “Lilith,” she tried to say, but her throat was painfully dry.

  Thankfully, there was a response. “I’m here.” The sound of Lilith’s voice made the shrieks and the strange hum slightly more bearable.

  The fog in front of her began to clear, or perhaps her eyes adjusted to the strange new light, because she saw Lilith standing beside her as if she had never left. “Where... where are we?” she asked, although she already knew.

  “This is the Anterior. The souls that never chose good or evil are cursed to stay here.”

  Eva looked at the writhing mass of bodies, which seemed to run in every direction at once. Her eyes widened as she saw one of them break above the crowd, a tattered black strip of cloth clutched in its blood-smeared fist. Another hand snatched it away, and the prize was lost again.

  She stepped forward, trying to get a closer look, and flinched when she heard a squelching sound beneath her feet. Her stomach heaved when she looked down. Sticky pools of blood dotted the ground, and writhing within the puddles were large, pulsating worms. Their round mouths contained circular rows of sharp, hooked teeth. She made a noise of disgust and jumped backwards, shaking her boot.

  Lilith seemed to navigate the puddles with ease, and she headed forward, past the hurling train of bodies. Eva followed her, and as she did, she saw what the buzzing cloud was – insects, billions of them, biting at the flesh of the tormented souls chasing the banner. She sucked at the inside of her cheek to refocus her attention away from the nausea in her stomach.

  “They can’t ignore the sting of their consciences now,” Lilith said softy. “I understand these souls a little too well.”

  “What do you mean?” Eva asked, coming to stand beside her.

  “You know what I mean. I followed a terrible path for thousands of years, and without you, I might still be Shaitan’s slave. I know the bite of guilt. It isn’t a fate I would wish on anyone permanently.” She turned away from the mass of flailing bodies, heading into the dim red light.

  Eva followed behind, and she gasped as a fresh crowd of people came into view. Endless lines of them were gathered at the edge of a river, and tall black cliffs jutted up on either side of the banks. The river was not calm, but rushed constantly, with choppy waves that cut through the still air.

  “That is the Acheron,” Lilith told her. “When we get closer, refill your bottle. We won’t be able to take water from any of the other rivers.”

  “How do we get to the bank?” she asked, looking at the crowd.

  “These shades won’t stop us, not yet. You’re still alive, and I’m not one of them. Walk forward and see.”

  Eva stepped forward, and the grey figures parted for her. They were blurry and indistinct, melding with each other, and it was hard to make out any individual faces. Hell had stripped them of their individuality, if not their crimes. Together, she and Lilith carved a path through the bodies, approaching the banks of the river.

  As they drew closer, Lilith seemed to notice something in the distance. She lifted her left hand in summons. At first, all Eva could see was a small, glowing light. Then the light grew larger, and she could make out the dark prow of an old ferryboat breaking through the waves. A man with wild grey hair and an ancient looking face stood in the boat, wielding an oar in his old hands. Despite his apparent age, his body was muscular and strong. Embedded in the crags of his face were two eyes, which seemed to spin with flaming, otherworldly wheels of light.

  “Charon!” Lilith called out as the boat rode upon the sand. She raised her hand, allowing the old man standing within it to see them.

  He peered closer at them, placing one bare foot upon the side of the boat. “You. I know you. You were the First One. What are you doing here? Your torment is on Earth.”

  Lilith shook her head. “My torment is over. Take us across the river.”

  “Us?” Charon seemed to notice her for the first time, and he shook his bearded head. Eva had to suppress a shudder. She felt cold, and the chill was not confined to her skin. “You have brought a living soul with you. Only the damned cross here. Find another way.”

  “No,” she said. “There is something past the Ninth Circle that belongs to Lilith, and we won’t leave without it.”

  “You will not cross,” Charon insisted. “There are other ways to the far shore. Use one of them.”

  Lilith studied him for a long moment. “Love has given me the strength to come here, and greater powers than both of us have willed it. I have been forgiven.”

  Reluctantly, Charon dug his oar into the sand, keeping the boat in place. He moved aside to make room for the two of them to climb aboard. Eva looked at Lilith, and when she received a nod of approval, she stepped onto the boat. The wood seemed old and thick, and the smell of water had seeped into its planks.

  Lilith climbed into the boat next, and it rocked slightly in the shallows as her weight made it dip. When her last foot left the sand, the shades on the bank suddenly seemed to realize that they would not be crossing. Some of them drew back, weeping as they mourned their fate. Many more howled, gnashing their teeth and hurling forward, trying to clamber over the side of the boat.

  Charon grunted, swinging his stout oar like a weapon. He battered away the souls trying to haul themselves onto the ferry. One actually managed to wrap a cold, dead hand around Eva’s ankle, but she kicked it off, stepping as close to the center of the boat as she could. Finally, Charon pushed away from the shore, sending the boat bobbing into the choppy water and away from the line of damned creatures on the shore.

  The two of them retreated to the back of the boat, as far away from Charon as they could comfortably stand. “I thought you said they would let us pass,” Eva said, narrowing her eyes at Lilith.

  “You are still alive. They know this isn’t where you belong.”

  “That’s the same thing he said.” She pointed at Charon, who was still standing at the prow, digging his oar again and again into the river as he ferried them across.

  “That was a good sign. Living souls never pass this way. They wouldn’t be so eager to cross if they knew what was waiting for them on the other side of the river.”

  Eva peered back at the bank they had left behind, staring at the seemingly endless line of people. They grew smaller and less distinct with each second. “They don’t even seem human anymore,” she whispered.

  “Sheol strips humanity away.” Lilith rubbed her injured shoulder, picking at the bandages. “It’s strange that we are journeying here to restore mine.”

  “Where is he keeping it?”

  Lilith continued staring down into nothingness. “My soul? Close to Him. Most people think that Cain’s soul was the first that He took, but they’re wrong. It was mine. Until I repented and the Archangel Michael came to free me, I was His slave for thousands of years. It’s time for me to take back the last part of myself.”

  Eva joined Lilith to look over the side of the boat. She wanted to take her hand again, but was not sure whether her lover would accept her touch. “The beasts weren’t just guarding the gate, were they? He sent them to kill you.”

  “They were the guardians of the gate, but He sent them as a warning. He knows we’re coming. I’m sure he will send worse things to try and stop us before we reach the Ninth Circle.”

&nbs
p; “The Ninth Circle?”

  “The deepest Circle of Sheol. That is where His true form is trapped, and where He is most powerful. My soul is there with Him.” Lilith hesitated, as if she was not sure how much she should say. “I want to come out of the shadows, but as long as He has my soul, He holds power over me.”

  Eva’s heartbeat tripped out of rhythm, and Lilith’s eyes burned into hers. The stare sent a shiver coursing down the middle of her back. No matter what form she was in, Lilith was still the handsomest creature she had ever seen. She reached out to take Lilith’s hand, gripping it tightly in hers. “We’ll get it back for you. I’ll do anything to help you.”

  “You’ve already helped me. Meeting you was the first step. If I can’t reclaim my soul for myself, I will reclaim it for you.”

  Eva smiled. She gave Lilith’s hand one last squeeze before it slipped from her grasp. She was pleased that Lilith had allowed her to offer comfort. It was a rare occurrence. “So, how exactly are we going to get your soul back?”

  The far shore appeared before Lilith could answer. It was only a black smudge against the horizon at first, but it began to loom larger as the boat cut across the river, stretching endlessly to either side. “Look,” Lilith said, raising her good arm and pointing. “You can’t see them yet, but there is a series of cliffs beyond the bank. They lead all the way to the Ninth Circle.”

  “How do we climb down?”

  “There is a path. I’ve never been to the Ninth Circle, but I know the way.”

  “You are fools to go there,” said Charon, who could hear their words now that the moans and cries of the damned souls had been left behind. “Only once has a traveler ever come back from the depths of that place.”

  “He brought back many souls,” Lilith said. “I only seek my own.”

  Gently, the boat nudged onto the shore. The bank was empty except for a single path that stretched out before them, wandering down along a steep ledge. Charon watched as they stepped off the ferry, gripping the handle of his oar tightly. “You will not cross back this way.” A frown deepened the wrinkles on his ancient face. “Souls never cross from this side of the Acheron.”

  “We will.” Lilith pushed the boat back into the black water with her foot, and it began to drift away. Charon did not reply. He began the long row back to the other side of the river, where countless souls were still waiting for him. “Make sure to take water from the river,” Lilith told her once he had departed. “This will be your last chance.”

  Eva knelt, reaching into her bag to pull out the large bottle that she had half-emptied to clean Lilith’s wounds. She dipped it into the water, filling it to the brim, and held it up to what little light there was. “It looks clear,” she said, staring skeptically at the bottle.

  “The Acheron is not a river of torment. Not this far upstream, anyway. It branches into other rivers later, and those are dangerous to drink from.”

  Eva took a long drink, and she was pleased to find that the water was sweet. She nearly drained the bottle before dipping it back under to fill it again. She did not bother offering any water to Lilith. Succubi couldn’t sustain themselves with food or drink. To survive, they needed to feed on the emotions of a human host. Only the strongest, wildest emotions would serve – anger, pain, fear, or lust. She glanced at the stained bandages around Lilith’s arm. “Is there a place nearby where we can rest? I want to take care of that shoulder for you.”

  Lilith managed a smile. “You want to ease my pain? How... considerate. Are you sure that’s your only motivation?”

  “Maybe,” she said, standing back up. She returned the bottle to her bag and approached Lilith with a deliberate sway in her hips. “But we still need to fix that shoulder, and you must be hungry by now.” Lilith’s arms opened, and she gladly settled into them, resting comfortable against her shoulder. She inhaled her scent, enjoying the heat she could feel against her cheek.

  Lilith’s hands wandered over the curve of her backside, leaning down to whisper beside her ear. “A little further. The First Circle holds no danger for us. We will find rest there.”

  “Just rest?” Her hands trailed up and down the sides of Lilith’s arms, stopping short of the bandages. The demon’s skin was warm, far warmer than a human’s, and she wanted to feel more of it. She itched to run her fingers over the sheets of muscle concealed beneath Lilith’s clothes, ached to cover every inch of smooth flesh with the heat of her mouth.

  “Rest after.”

  Eva felt a familiar tug between her legs, and deliberately willed herself to ignore it. Lilith could manipulate her desire if she chose, and even change her form to become more appealing to her prey, but this time, her need was her own. She trusted that Lilith would only draw out her lust when she needed to feed. Still, she could not resist tasting Lilith’s mouth. She tilted her chin up to take it, teasing Lilith’s lips apart with her tongue until both of them were gasping. The heat within her spiked, stealing what was left of her breath.

  Before she was ready, Lilith pulled away. “Not here,” she murmured. “Wait until we find a better place.”

  She did not want to wait, but she released her hold and turned toward the path. It stretched forward in front of them for a few feet before dropping into a steep descent and turning to the left in a corkscrew. “What’s in the First Circle?” she asked as Lilith started walking.

  “It’s actually rather pleasant. The souls of noble people who lived their lives well stay there.”

  “I didn’t know good souls went to Hell.”

  “Entrance to Heaven requires two things – virtue, and a spiritual connection with God. These souls lived the first, and lacked the second.” For a moment, a shadow crossed Lilith’s face. Her fingers tightened into fists for a moment before relaxing. “I lost both of those things long ago.”

  Eva reached out to touch Lilith’s hand, caressing the inside of her wrist with a thumb. “Not permanently. Come on, you said there was a place to rest up ahead.”

  Lilith smiled again. Together, the two of them followed the left bend in the path, around the side of the cliffs.

  Canto III:

  “Let us descend now into the blind world,”

  Began the Poet, pallid utterly;

  “I will be first, and thou shalt second be.”

  Streaks of light broke through the dismal grey sky, and tall trees lined the way as Lilith followed the path around the bend. Unlike the brittle, scratching, twisting things that had torn at her during the descent into the shadowed valley, these trees were a lush and brilliant green, and the stale stench of death faded to apple blossoms. She sighed, breathing in the clear air. This was one of the only nice-smelling places in Sheol, and she was happy to linger for a while.

  “This isn’t exactly how I pictured Hell,” Eva said. “I won’t end up like Persephone if I eat that, will I?” She pointed up at a heavy red apple that looked as though it was about to drop from its bough. “You know, a month for every seed?”

  Lilith shook her head. “No. The fruit is safe to eat.” She gave Eva a knowing look. “But you aren’t the only one who’s hungry. You shouldn’t have teased me earlier.”

  Eva glanced to either side, then reached out to take her hand, tugging her away from the path. Her smile held flashes of white teeth, and her green eyes were bright with mischief. “I’m not a tease,” she said, kneeling on the soft grass beneath a tree. She set her staff and bag aside. “I always keep my promises. Let me feed you.”

  Lilith reached down to stroke her cheek, but her fingers curled around a lock of golden hair instead when Eva leaned forward to kiss the seam of her pants. She couldn’t feel her lips through the fabric, but the sight was enough to make her hips rock forward. Her muscles rippled beneath her skin, straining to shift. Sometimes, she wondered how a human was able to manipulate her so easily. She was used to being the one who fed from desire, the one who caused lu
st instead of falling prey to it herself, but there was no denying it now. She needed to feed.

  She hurried to undo the button of her pants before her fingers could sharpen to claws, but when Eva made a soft noise of approval, she deliberately slowed down. “My boots,” she ordered, and Eva hurried to untie the laces, pulling them from her feet one at a time. Her pants followed a few seconds later, but Lilith did not bother removing her shirt. Instead, her claws extended, and the cinnamon color of her skin darkened to a bright, vivid shade of red. Horns curled up from her head, and she hunched forward slightly as her wings unfurled, pushing out through the rips that had already been torn in her shirt. Without her pants, her tail had room to extend, and it wrapped lazily around one of her thighs.

  “Have I mentioned lately that I love it when you do that?” Eva asked breathlessly.

  “You used to be afraid of the change,” Lilith said. Her black, forked tongue darted out through her lips, giving the words an extra hiss.

  Eva’s free hand ran down along her naked hip. “That was before I made positive associations. Lots of positive associations.”

  Lilith unwound her tail from around her thigh and looped it over Eva’s wrist instead, tightening the lash into a thin black bracelet and catching her hand. “And the fact that I can give you anything you desire when I shift has nothing to do with it at all?” A blush blossomed out from the points of Eva’s cheeks, and Lilith couldn’t resist trailing the edge of one claw along the curve of her jaw. She paused just above the dip of her throat, careful not to tear the fragile skin as the tip of her tail stroked the underside of Eva’s arm.

  “Not only what I desire,” Eva whispered. She made no move to pull her hand or face away. “You enjoy your powers just as much as I do.”

  Lilith smirked. “I won’t lie. Being a succubus does have its advantages. And now, you need to decide which advantages you want. Do you want me as I am now?” The flash in Eva’s eyes told her that the offer was tempting. “Or do you want me to change further?”